If you're thinking that I had to break out some serious math skills to figure out that title up there, you're right. Ok fine, calculator skills. But still, I owe it to myself - and to 2009. I've got to be able to pull out one more post before the year ends in a couple of hours, right? So here goes...
Goodbye 2009, the year that I not only found my first gray hair, but also my second and third as well. This actually didn't bother me as much as I would have expected. Ok, yes, my first reaction was, "Really?! REALLY?!?!?" But then I started to look at it as an opportunity for new experiences. Seeing how I've never dyed my hair before, I figured maybe this is God's way of telling me to spice things up and try something new. I mean heck, this blog was originally started to document my reinvention. And trying out a new hair color would seem an appropriate thing to do in the new year.
But what really got me was when that fourth gray hair popped up just a couple of weeks ago as an eyelash. Yes, you read that right, AN EYELASH! I didn't even know it was possible to go gray in your eyelashes! What kind of a cruel joke is that? I mean, c'mon, now I have to start dyeing my hair AND wearing mascara every day?
It's like 2009 is trying to push me over the edge. Like it looked at me square in the face and said, "Well you handled everything else so well this year...the new job, weight gain, losing your home of ten years, your dog dying. You're one tough cookie, you can take anything so, here, have a gray eyelash!"
Well I will have you know, 2009, that your little mind games will not defeat me. Sure, I battled with a lot of transition this year, and faced my fair share of obstacles, but who didn't? Let's not forget all of the wonderful things that happened as well. That new job turned out to be the first job I've ever had where I feel truly valued and appreciated. And the new house? I love every square inch of it. Not to mention that we had so many people rallying around us while we were house hunting and when we moved into the new place, I halfway expected to hear Ty Pennington's bullhorn calling out "Move that bus!" to our new neighborhood.
You know what else 2009? We made some really great friends this year, and I reconnected with folks from my childhood who have brought a whole new level of joy to my life right now. From the train club to Facebook, to new PlanetZaya clients and mini-reunions with old girlfriends, it was a year of really great moments.
That's right, take that, 2009. And while you're down there, did I mention that just hours ago I found a missing link to my family history that has already opened the door to a whole new world of discovery about my heritage? Uh huh, that's right. So who's coming out on top now, huh?
What was that? Did you say something? Oh....my weight. Nice jab there, 2009. Well I must admit that I fell pretty far off that wagon and have been hangin' out by the side of the road (and stuffing my face) while it keeps rolling on. But let's be fair here. I had a lot going on and I'm not superhuman. I've been facing some personal demons, doing a lot of juggling, and my attention to health and fitness has suffered. But you know what? I'm not going to beat myself up about it. As a matter of fact, the clock is just about to strike 2010 and the wagon is still in sight. I've still got goals, 2009, and the important thing is that I believe in myself and I know I can reach them.
So go ahead and take your last few weak breaths, 2009. I'm done with you. I've got a whole new year of life to look forward to, and it feels good to be alive. Tomorrow is a new day, a new year, and a new decade. I'm ready to re-align my body and soul and get focused. And I'm ready for the exciting new things that lay ahead of me.
That's right, I'm ready. Or at least I will be...right after I make that hair appointment and pick up some new mascara.
2.03.2009
Day Nine Hundred Forty-Seven
It's 11:09pm and I just prepped a brisket for the slow cooker. It almost sounds like I know what I'm talking about, huh? I should've been an actress.
Not only that, but I sat down and planned out a few different meals for the week. Then proceeded to write out a shopping list to include items I would need for several entrees that I plan to prepare. As if that weren't enough, Zaya and I took a trip to the grocery store, where we actually walked each aisle and filled up our cart with the necessary fixin's and some healthy snacks.
This is getting a little out of hand. Domestication be damned.
Not only that, but I sat down and planned out a few different meals for the week. Then proceeded to write out a shopping list to include items I would need for several entrees that I plan to prepare. As if that weren't enough, Zaya and I took a trip to the grocery store, where we actually walked each aisle and filled up our cart with the necessary fixin's and some healthy snacks.
This is getting a little out of hand. Domestication be damned.
1.31.2009
Day 944 - Weigh In
Just the facts, ma'am.
Went up .8 pounds this week. Current weight is 184.6 pounds.
It was a loooooooooooong weekend. But a good one.
Went up .8 pounds this week. Current weight is 184.6 pounds.
It was a loooooooooooong weekend. But a good one.
1.28.2009
Day Nine Hundred Forty-One
I JUST COOKED A MEAL!
For those of you that really know me, this is a big deal. I have several things working against me when it comes to cooking. First, I never really learned how - that's the bigee. I've dabbled with baked goods, I've heated up plenty of pre-prepared dishes from Trader Joe's and I've mastered a couple of things in the crock pot. But until today I had never done what I consider actual "cooking" before. Where you start with frozen meat of some kind, defrost it, brown it and then combine it with some other ingredients to create a meal.
The other factors that contribute to my absence from the kitchen are all the same complications everybody else deals with. Part-time job, chasing an energetic kid, household chores, running several entrepreneurial endeavors. But somehow others seem to find the time to do all that stuff and cook. In thirty-three years, I haven't quite figured that one out.
Needless to say (though I'm going to say it anyway), I didn't exactly tackle a gourmet masterpiece for my first time around. I found a WW recipe online that we had most of the ingredients for already and decided to give it a shot. Oven baked turkey flautas (or chimichangas, depending on what light you look at them in). The whole thing took about 25 minutes from start to finish and was pretty darn tasty. Of course Jon may have only agreed with the tasty part so as not to completely crush my ego, but even that would be ok. I'm proud of myself anyway.
The thing that surprised me about the whole experience was that I actually enjoyed it. The story might be different if I had to put on a four course meal, but overall I was calm, confident and found it a little...dare I say FUN?
The bottom line is that I felt pretty good about feeding my family. Though technically I only fed Jon and myself because Z refused to eat, then ended up stuffing his face full of dehydrated apples and goldfish crackers, but that's another blog entry entirely.
I should also throw out there that this in no way means I'm gonna have the time to make this a daily thing. And my hat's off to all you ladies and men out there who are able to do that. Kudos, praise and all that jazz, man. But nevertheless it's a start, and I'm kind of excited about seeking out new recipes.
Ok, excited is a strong word. Let's start with "positive." I can think positive thoughts about finding recipes and doing more cooking.
For those of you that really know me, this is a big deal. I have several things working against me when it comes to cooking. First, I never really learned how - that's the bigee. I've dabbled with baked goods, I've heated up plenty of pre-prepared dishes from Trader Joe's and I've mastered a couple of things in the crock pot. But until today I had never done what I consider actual "cooking" before. Where you start with frozen meat of some kind, defrost it, brown it and then combine it with some other ingredients to create a meal.
The other factors that contribute to my absence from the kitchen are all the same complications everybody else deals with. Part-time job, chasing an energetic kid, household chores, running several entrepreneurial endeavors. But somehow others seem to find the time to do all that stuff and cook. In thirty-three years, I haven't quite figured that one out.
Needless to say (though I'm going to say it anyway), I didn't exactly tackle a gourmet masterpiece for my first time around. I found a WW recipe online that we had most of the ingredients for already and decided to give it a shot. Oven baked turkey flautas (or chimichangas, depending on what light you look at them in). The whole thing took about 25 minutes from start to finish and was pretty darn tasty. Of course Jon may have only agreed with the tasty part so as not to completely crush my ego, but even that would be ok. I'm proud of myself anyway.
The thing that surprised me about the whole experience was that I actually enjoyed it. The story might be different if I had to put on a four course meal, but overall I was calm, confident and found it a little...dare I say FUN?
The bottom line is that I felt pretty good about feeding my family. Though technically I only fed Jon and myself because Z refused to eat, then ended up stuffing his face full of dehydrated apples and goldfish crackers, but that's another blog entry entirely.
I should also throw out there that this in no way means I'm gonna have the time to make this a daily thing. And my hat's off to all you ladies and men out there who are able to do that. Kudos, praise and all that jazz, man. But nevertheless it's a start, and I'm kind of excited about seeking out new recipes.
Ok, excited is a strong word. Let's start with "positive." I can think positive thoughts about finding recipes and doing more cooking.
1.24.2009
Day 937: Weigh In
More proof that the program works when you follow it (what a concept!). Weighed in at 183.8 today, down 1.4 pounds from last week. This news actually got me mentally motivated to exercise, because I want to stay on pace. I realized that counting my points and eating healthier is making all the difference, and exercise is the other piece of the puzzle that will get me where I want to go.
There are a lot of people who don't need to attend the WW meetings. I've had people ask why I do. Could I lose the weight without that element? Probably. But why would I do that when I have access to the added resource? It's kind of like re-fueling my mind and spirit. You can laugh and say it's just a room full of fat people commisserating. And there are instances of that. But mainly it's a way to remind yourself that life isn't a diet and that the journey is as important as the destination.
There are a lot of people who don't need to attend the WW meetings. I've had people ask why I do. Could I lose the weight without that element? Probably. But why would I do that when I have access to the added resource? It's kind of like re-fueling my mind and spirit. You can laugh and say it's just a room full of fat people commisserating. And there are instances of that. But mainly it's a way to remind yourself that life isn't a diet and that the journey is as important as the destination.
1.19.2009
Day Nine Hundred Thirty-Two
So Jon had me diggin' for photos of him so he could do his own before/after picture on his blog. Of course what he considers his "fat" photos mean nothing to me when I keep finding stuff like this:
WHO IS THAT???
WHO IS THAT???
There...whew!!! Had to leave myself with an image of someone I recognize. It's also a good reminder that though I was off the wagon for awhile, I didn't fall completely out and roll all the way to the bottom of the hill.1.17.2009
Day 930 - Weigh In
Might as well start with the numbers, cuz they're good ones! My first week back to WW, I lost 2.2 pounds. Current weight is 185.2. When our leader Jim was recording my weight he said, "Nice job, Carrie!" I responded with, "See? I know how to do it...it's just a matter of doing it." And the truth is (emotional eating, life stressors and a genuine love for food aside), it really is that simple.
The good news at WW kicked off a really great weekend. Jon and I have been discussing throwing our hat back in the storytelling ring with a re-launch of StoryTunes. Everyone's always told us that doing the sing-alongs and working with kids is our gift, and I agree. Not to mention we really love it. We stopped performing when I got pregnant with Z. But now that he's four, he's at the perfect stage to become part of the team, and really benefit from it. So we're getting organized, re-connecting with our friends in the literacy community, and doing some focused marketing.
Right after the WW meeting, the three of us went to Wilson Park as invited guests of Southern California Live Steamers. Those in the Torrance and South Bay community know this group well. They have a beautiful property located on the park grounds and right next to the the train tracks where they offer free rides on their own miniature steam engines and electric trains. After a phone conversation with the president of the organization, we found ourselves at a board meeting and within minutes were signed up to perform on their next run day. It's an exciting opportunity to get the StoryTunes name back out there and to hopefully raise awareness of this great resource in the community.
As I was reflecting over the weekend, it was easy to get overwhelmed by all of the things we're involved with. Running PlanetZaya, trying to get back on track with The Shining Light Fund, Zaya's blossoming career, our continued involvement with First Book...not to mention that Jon and I have both been on the hunt for stable jobs for over a year now. And adding to the mix the rebirth of StoryTunes. Some might look at us and say we should be sacrificing our "extracurricular activities" and buckling down in a cubicle somewhere. And maybe that's true. We're certainly not sitting pretty on the financial end of things. But I can't help feeling that the Lord has opened the doors to all of these things as ministries. He's given us skills and talents that I don't want to waste. We have been privileged to make many new friends and touch the lives of all kinds of people each day with what we do. Not everyone gets to experience that. Not everyone takes the time to notice and appreciate what's around them, or is in the position to help give back. I'm thankful that we do.
So I'm on a good track right now, physically, mentally and emotionally. Sure it's easy for me to slip and fall backwards, like when I found out Jon's twenty year high school reunion will be happening this summer. My first thoughts were about how I would look, how intimidated I would feel by meeting and seeing other people from his past. I even decided at one point that I just wouldn't go, so as to avoid feeling all of those things. But that's not realistic...or healthy for that matter. And I don't want to go back to getting ahead of myself.
Life is what it is. A series of small, individual moments. They happen whether or not you're ready for them. Not easy, not pretty sometimes. And we don't always know how to do it. But it's the doing it that counts.
The good news at WW kicked off a really great weekend. Jon and I have been discussing throwing our hat back in the storytelling ring with a re-launch of StoryTunes. Everyone's always told us that doing the sing-alongs and working with kids is our gift, and I agree. Not to mention we really love it. We stopped performing when I got pregnant with Z. But now that he's four, he's at the perfect stage to become part of the team, and really benefit from it. So we're getting organized, re-connecting with our friends in the literacy community, and doing some focused marketing.
Right after the WW meeting, the three of us went to Wilson Park as invited guests of Southern California Live Steamers. Those in the Torrance and South Bay community know this group well. They have a beautiful property located on the park grounds and right next to the the train tracks where they offer free rides on their own miniature steam engines and electric trains. After a phone conversation with the president of the organization, we found ourselves at a board meeting and within minutes were signed up to perform on their next run day. It's an exciting opportunity to get the StoryTunes name back out there and to hopefully raise awareness of this great resource in the community.
As I was reflecting over the weekend, it was easy to get overwhelmed by all of the things we're involved with. Running PlanetZaya, trying to get back on track with The Shining Light Fund, Zaya's blossoming career, our continued involvement with First Book...not to mention that Jon and I have both been on the hunt for stable jobs for over a year now. And adding to the mix the rebirth of StoryTunes. Some might look at us and say we should be sacrificing our "extracurricular activities" and buckling down in a cubicle somewhere. And maybe that's true. We're certainly not sitting pretty on the financial end of things. But I can't help feeling that the Lord has opened the doors to all of these things as ministries. He's given us skills and talents that I don't want to waste. We have been privileged to make many new friends and touch the lives of all kinds of people each day with what we do. Not everyone gets to experience that. Not everyone takes the time to notice and appreciate what's around them, or is in the position to help give back. I'm thankful that we do.
So I'm on a good track right now, physically, mentally and emotionally. Sure it's easy for me to slip and fall backwards, like when I found out Jon's twenty year high school reunion will be happening this summer. My first thoughts were about how I would look, how intimidated I would feel by meeting and seeing other people from his past. I even decided at one point that I just wouldn't go, so as to avoid feeling all of those things. But that's not realistic...or healthy for that matter. And I don't want to go back to getting ahead of myself.
Life is what it is. A series of small, individual moments. They happen whether or not you're ready for them. Not easy, not pretty sometimes. And we don't always know how to do it. But it's the doing it that counts.
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