Day Three Hundred Sixty-Five

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure, measure a year?

From Rent, by Jonathan Larson

The day has come. Not unlike all the days before it, it will leave just as swiftly as it's come. But very much unlike the days before it, this day marks the celebration of an unprecedented journey, and a me I've never been before. On July 1st, 2006, I stepped into a simple, average-sized meeting room at the Carson Community Center with very low expectations. The motivation to be there was strong, but the belief that anything would come of it was weak at best. It was my first Weight Watchers meeting. Far from the first time I'd felt the need to lose weight, but definitely the first time I knew I needed to make a change. For the benefit of my mind even moreso than my body.

I showed up at WW defeated, convinced that I wasn't even worth the twelve bucks a week it would cost to join the program. I had spent most of my 30 years hating my body, wishing I looked like somebody else. I had made minimal attempts at weight loss, committing only long enough to be able to tell people that I had tried. But nothing ever "stuck" because I was convinced that I couldn't do it.

The days that followed have brought so much change. New habits replacing old ones. Trying new things and learning what works. Setting new goals and releasing the fear. The learning has been trying and constant...and good.

That's why today means so much. Exactly one year later I am 47 lbs. lighter and in better shape than I've ever been before. I enjoy food, both new finds and old favorites. I crave exercise (crazy, I know). I can shop in REGULAR STORES, which was one of my big goals. But more than all of that, I have proven to myself that I can do it, that I am not a failure. That I am indeed able and worth the effort.

To those of you who have been along for the ride, I have to give a heartfelt thanks. For the times you noticed and said so. For the moments you took pride in my victories. And for holding my hand through what sometimes felt like defeat. To Jon for believing in me when I couldn't, to Mama for knowing and sharing the struggle, to J for introducing me to the gym, to A for listening to me babble on (and for always having a snack when I needed it!), to G for being my #1 blog reader and the best darn president of a fan club that ever lived, to A2 for all the beautiful words of encouragement, to M for all the love, to Aunt W for being a lifelong friend and offering so much understanding in one quick glimpse. And to my Z-man who keeps me active (to say the least) and who brings a smile to my face and my heart every single day. Thank you. I love you.

But don't go anywhere, the ride is far from over. We've only just begun. I'm on this train for the duration. My second year on WW will be focused on fitness. Now that I know I can lose the pounds, I want to learn how to be an all-around healthier person. This means new types of exercise and re-shaping my new body. I have a lot to learn in this area so it's sure to be a challenge. Not to mention the struggle continues of getting my mind and emotions to catch up to my body.

Stick around. Here's to living bigger...in all the best ways.

BEFORE

AFTER