All I wanna know is, who put the Fun Size Twix bars in the candy bucket? WHO??? Do you not understand what this does to me? I realize that I've done a lot of talking about making good choices, blah, blah, blah. But these are TWIX BARS, PEOPLE!
Maybe it's best that you don't reveal yourself. I haven't decided if I want to kiss you or kill you.
1.31.2007
1.28.2007
Day One Hundred Ninety
It's always nice when you learn a lesson in one aspect of your life that can be (and probably should be) applied to many others. I think that's what's happening here. This occurred to me after weighing in this week to find I'm back up .2 lbs, still hovering around 173. Now I'm not vain enough to be disgruntled by a weight gain of two tenths of a pound. What I'm hoping is that I'm perceptive enough to pick up on a trend and do something to change it.
I think what's being driven home in my head is not to get too settled. I recognize that I've become settled into the WW routine and have begun to believe my own hype. I've been on the program for over six months and my behaviors are starting to suggest that I'm good at it...or even that I've mastered it. Which is totally not true. But I can see the pattern now. Slacking on recording my points, treating exercise as a take-it-or-leave-it part of the program. And frequently sneaking nibbles and bites, all the while thinking to myself, "Oh this won't make a difference." These things all add up. It's not like I'm gaining by leaps and bounds, but taking a peek at the pattern of gain and loss, gain and loss over the past couple of months indicates that my current casual attitude does, in fact, make a difference.
What I'm learning is that just when you feel like you've got it all figured out, it's time to shake things up. We tend to live our lives as though we're on the road to one specific destination. And once we arrive there, the job is done, the work is finished. Whether it's school, career, weight-loss, whatever. It's easy to look through tunneled lenses and think, "Once I get there, I'll be happy." The problem is we think we know exactly where "there" is and we're convinced there's only one road that leads to it.
I guess what I'm saying is that there are times when it's good to rock the boat. And it seems to be the times when we think we've "made it." If you're having that feeling about some part of your life, it might be a good opportunity to look at yourself from a new perspective. Achievement is wonderful, but too often it serves as a closed door behind us instead of an open one in front of us...a path to something new. I personally am very proud to say that I've lost 41 lbs. But I'm also proud to say that I've got 17 more to go, and I'm working on it. And aside from weight loss...who knows? I'm starting to see new doors open ahead. All it took was a little shift in focus and a lot of new love for myself.
I think what's being driven home in my head is not to get too settled. I recognize that I've become settled into the WW routine and have begun to believe my own hype. I've been on the program for over six months and my behaviors are starting to suggest that I'm good at it...or even that I've mastered it. Which is totally not true. But I can see the pattern now. Slacking on recording my points, treating exercise as a take-it-or-leave-it part of the program. And frequently sneaking nibbles and bites, all the while thinking to myself, "Oh this won't make a difference." These things all add up. It's not like I'm gaining by leaps and bounds, but taking a peek at the pattern of gain and loss, gain and loss over the past couple of months indicates that my current casual attitude does, in fact, make a difference.
What I'm learning is that just when you feel like you've got it all figured out, it's time to shake things up. We tend to live our lives as though we're on the road to one specific destination. And once we arrive there, the job is done, the work is finished. Whether it's school, career, weight-loss, whatever. It's easy to look through tunneled lenses and think, "Once I get there, I'll be happy." The problem is we think we know exactly where "there" is and we're convinced there's only one road that leads to it.
I guess what I'm saying is that there are times when it's good to rock the boat. And it seems to be the times when we think we've "made it." If you're having that feeling about some part of your life, it might be a good opportunity to look at yourself from a new perspective. Achievement is wonderful, but too often it serves as a closed door behind us instead of an open one in front of us...a path to something new. I personally am very proud to say that I've lost 41 lbs. But I'm also proud to say that I've got 17 more to go, and I'm working on it. And aside from weight loss...who knows? I'm starting to see new doors open ahead. All it took was a little shift in focus and a lot of new love for myself.
1.26.2007
Day One Hundred Eighty-Eight
Good: Having friends who notice there's something different about me.
Great: Having friends who recognize my weight loss and say nice things like, "You look great. Let's go shopping!"
Unbelievably Fantastic: Having friends who not only invite you over for dinner and serve yummy low point goodies like mini-turkey-burgers on King's Hawaiian whole wheat rolls, but who also thoroughly enjoy the goodness of a healthy meal, thereby creating a spirit of team unity.
Thanks A&G! You guys are a fat girl's dream. Ok, well maybe my real dream involves double chocolate fudge cake, but you run a close second.
Great: Having friends who recognize my weight loss and say nice things like, "You look great. Let's go shopping!"
Unbelievably Fantastic: Having friends who not only invite you over for dinner and serve yummy low point goodies like mini-turkey-burgers on King's Hawaiian whole wheat rolls, but who also thoroughly enjoy the goodness of a healthy meal, thereby creating a spirit of team unity.
Thanks A&G! You guys are a fat girl's dream. Ok, well maybe my real dream involves double chocolate fudge cake, but you run a close second.
1.21.2007
Day One Hundred Eighty-Three
Ok, I know, skipping two complete weigh-in weeks on my blog is unacceptable. What is the meaning of this??? I think Z is better equipped to answer that question, he can tell you what I do all day. Most of it involves attempting to keep up with a very active, independent and fearless two year old. Must be why I'm losing weight.
Yes, I said losing! As of yesterday's weigh-in, I'm down a total of 41.2 lbs. and my current weight is 172.2. I wish I could more accurately remember when I was last at this weight. I'm convinced it was somewhere around junior high or high school. It's no secret, I've never been a small gal. People look at me strangely when I say I've never been this small because logically speaking, I had to have been this weight at some point, right? I mean I was 8 lbs. 9 oz. when I was born and got up to 223 lbs. at my heaviest. So it would only make sense that somewhere in there I reached 172. I guess what I really mean is I've never been in this shape before.
Today was a good barometer for me because I went to see Terry. I would say he's my "hairstylist" or "haircutter" (that one's for you, G), but he's way more than that. He's been a good friend of my mom's since she was very young and therefore has known me since birth. Yes he does cut my hair, but he's more of a confidante. What he said today, with a very loving, fatherly look in his eyes, was "you've really never been this SIZE before." And that would be accurate. He was also the first one to say, "You've always been beautiful, and now you're even more beautiful. Not because of your weight, but because I can see the change in you, how you feel about yourself. You're gorgeous." This is what I mean when I say I've got the best group of cheerleaders around.
So the year is off to a good start. Not just for me but for others who are taking on the WW challenge. Today's shout out is to J's mom who has joined the herd (and I mean that in the most loving way possible). She has made the commitment to lose weight but moreso to improve her health. Which is really important. To her and to J. I hope I can offer her even a small part of the encouragement that J and so many others have offered me.
Yes, I said losing! As of yesterday's weigh-in, I'm down a total of 41.2 lbs. and my current weight is 172.2. I wish I could more accurately remember when I was last at this weight. I'm convinced it was somewhere around junior high or high school. It's no secret, I've never been a small gal. People look at me strangely when I say I've never been this small because logically speaking, I had to have been this weight at some point, right? I mean I was 8 lbs. 9 oz. when I was born and got up to 223 lbs. at my heaviest. So it would only make sense that somewhere in there I reached 172. I guess what I really mean is I've never been in this shape before.
Today was a good barometer for me because I went to see Terry. I would say he's my "hairstylist" or "haircutter" (that one's for you, G), but he's way more than that. He's been a good friend of my mom's since she was very young and therefore has known me since birth. Yes he does cut my hair, but he's more of a confidante. What he said today, with a very loving, fatherly look in his eyes, was "you've really never been this SIZE before." And that would be accurate. He was also the first one to say, "You've always been beautiful, and now you're even more beautiful. Not because of your weight, but because I can see the change in you, how you feel about yourself. You're gorgeous." This is what I mean when I say I've got the best group of cheerleaders around.
So the year is off to a good start. Not just for me but for others who are taking on the WW challenge. Today's shout out is to J's mom who has joined the herd (and I mean that in the most loving way possible). She has made the commitment to lose weight but moreso to improve her health. Which is really important. To her and to J. I hope I can offer her even a small part of the encouragement that J and so many others have offered me.
1.11.2007
Day One Hundred Seventy-Three
Goodbye holidays! Sure I suffer from as much post-Christmas depression as the next guy, but you know the great thing about the season after the holiday season? All the bad food is GONE GONE GONE from the house. And no, I didn't eat it. Not all of it. I mean we voluntarily gave away two unopened boxes of Sees candy. How's that for commitment? Not only that, but just yesterday I took a portion of my Christmas bonus/paid vacation money and went grocery shopping, leaving with a cart full of goodies that are good. I'm not gonna start the year off on the naughty list.
So I kicked off 2007 losing most of my Christmas gain. Was down 1.4 pounds for a current weight of 173.2. I've lost 40.2 altogether. This makes me happy. What also makes me happy is running into someone I hadn't seen in a couple of months while picking up take-out and having her say, "You look like you've lost some since the last time I saw you." That never hurts. But as in most cases, there's more to the story. What this woman didn't know was that just moments before I had made a sweep of the bakery area, trying to decide if I should pick up something tasty for myself and just account for the points later. She was right in front of me, with her back turned, and I didn't recognize her. This was a good reminder that you can never really sneak a treat...especially from yourself.
Mama asked the other day about my mindset. How am I feeling about the next 18 pounds? Honestly, I feel great because I know it's achievable. The hardest part of this was over and done with the moment I decided to start WW. Jumping that emotional hurdle was way more difficult than anything I've encountered since. I'm not saying the rest is all cake...so to speak. Every day has its challenges, and not just the tempting, food-related ones. There's still a lot of self-discovery going on. And that's what I had hoped for. As it's turning out, the more I get to know and, more importantly, get to like me, the more I enjoy those around me. Which makes this crazy mixed-up life more fulfilling...not just filling.
So I kicked off 2007 losing most of my Christmas gain. Was down 1.4 pounds for a current weight of 173.2. I've lost 40.2 altogether. This makes me happy. What also makes me happy is running into someone I hadn't seen in a couple of months while picking up take-out and having her say, "You look like you've lost some since the last time I saw you." That never hurts. But as in most cases, there's more to the story. What this woman didn't know was that just moments before I had made a sweep of the bakery area, trying to decide if I should pick up something tasty for myself and just account for the points later. She was right in front of me, with her back turned, and I didn't recognize her. This was a good reminder that you can never really sneak a treat...especially from yourself.
Mama asked the other day about my mindset. How am I feeling about the next 18 pounds? Honestly, I feel great because I know it's achievable. The hardest part of this was over and done with the moment I decided to start WW. Jumping that emotional hurdle was way more difficult than anything I've encountered since. I'm not saying the rest is all cake...so to speak. Every day has its challenges, and not just the tempting, food-related ones. There's still a lot of self-discovery going on. And that's what I had hoped for. As it's turning out, the more I get to know and, more importantly, get to like me, the more I enjoy those around me. Which makes this crazy mixed-up life more fulfilling...not just filling.
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