Well, I can't blame this on the turkey...just got home from weighing in. It wasn't pretty. To be honest, I did expect to gain this week, that part's not a surprise. But 2 WHOLE POUNDS! Talk about motivation to get back on track.
Honestly, this really had nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Sure I probably ate a bit more on that day than usual, but I can pinpoint a lot of little things that I've been changing gradually that are sure contributors to the gain. I stopped buying nonfat milk about a month ago, because it's been more convenient to buy lowfat in larger quantities for Z. I started eating his sugary, flavored oatmeals instead of plain. I have not been consistently measuring portions. I've been indulging in the FANTASTIC regular granola topping at Golden Spoon, instead of the non-fat variety (which I should note is good as well). And I've been squeezing in extra points without really keeping track. Two tortillas instead of one here, two pudding cups instead of one there. It all adds up, and I know that.
So I'm not going to wallow, I'm going to use this as an opportunity to kick myself into action. I've been trying to organize a good winter workout schedule. Sunday mornings at the gym or the park are looking good. I've just gotta get at least another two days in there. I miss exercise when I don't get it. I miss feeling better physically and knowing that I've stayed committed.
We had a good meeting this morning. Fewer people than usual...post-Thanksgiving scares people. One of the questions Jim asked was, "What do you know now (since joining WW) that you didn't know then?" I raised my hand and said, "That I really can do it." I walked into that first meeting feeling desperate but expecting nothing really significant to happen. I thought I was just "supposed to be fat" all my life. Like it was a given. And I didn't believe in myself at all. Didn't think I had a chance. Boy, was I wrong.
So I just tracked the points for my breakfast. And I am excited about re-focusing...again. It happens, what can I say. Today is a new day. So if you'll excuse me, I have a date with all new opportunities...
11.25.2006
11.24.2006
Day One Hundred Twenty-Six
Well, I survived it. The big Thanksgiving feast. I'm pretty positive that I overindulged a bit. The nice thing is that I only had one plate, did not go back for seconds and thirds as in years past. I didn't even eat anything later in the day...usually there would be another helping at dinner time. But this year, I ate what I wanted to and was satisfied. The satisfaction I have within myself and for my accomplishments just made everything taste twice as good.
Then came today...the day after Thanksgiving is always one I look forward to. No, I am not a shopper, you won't find me in any 5am lines on Black Friday. For me the day after the holiday is a rest, the real vacation. And today was just that. Jon went to a volleyball game and then out to the OC to work on a video project, so it was just team Carrie and Zaya. The house was quiet. I read some of the book that's been sitting on my night table. I revisited my favorite Jon Cusack movies. I lounged...something I NEVER get to do. This day has been a long time coming.
I also spent a little time looking at photographs of myself and my family and friends. It occurred to me that those of you following along at home who don't see me regularly are probably curious what a weight loss of almost 39 lbs. looks like. I've talked so much about changes, both physical and emotional, but it's really hard to visualize. So I've decided to post a visual progress report here. The following are photos taken almost exactly six months apart. The photo on the left was taken on May 16th, 2006 and the one on the right was taken yesterday morning, November 23rd. I'm doing this as much for myself as I am for you. When I look in the mirror, my eyes go directly to the flaws and faults. This is a good way for me to remind myself where I am and where I've been.
Then came today...the day after Thanksgiving is always one I look forward to. No, I am not a shopper, you won't find me in any 5am lines on Black Friday. For me the day after the holiday is a rest, the real vacation. And today was just that. Jon went to a volleyball game and then out to the OC to work on a video project, so it was just team Carrie and Zaya. The house was quiet. I read some of the book that's been sitting on my night table. I revisited my favorite Jon Cusack movies. I lounged...something I NEVER get to do. This day has been a long time coming.
I also spent a little time looking at photographs of myself and my family and friends. It occurred to me that those of you following along at home who don't see me regularly are probably curious what a weight loss of almost 39 lbs. looks like. I've talked so much about changes, both physical and emotional, but it's really hard to visualize. So I've decided to post a visual progress report here. The following are photos taken almost exactly six months apart. The photo on the left was taken on May 16th, 2006 and the one on the right was taken yesterday morning, November 23rd. I'm doing this as much for myself as I am for you. When I look in the mirror, my eyes go directly to the flaws and faults. This is a good way for me to remind myself where I am and where I've been.
11.20.2006
Call me crazy...
...but they're not half bad! Thanks to J for introducing me to a new snack. And yes, you can taste the buttery caramel...sorta.
Day One Hundred Forty-Two
Two blogs in two consecutive days...this is quite an accomplishment for me! Maybe this means I'm back on track. Maybe my focus is back, just in time for the holidays! (Or it could possibly be that my boss is out of town and I'm finding myself with a little spare time at work. Eh, why ask why?)
Yesterday was good. Got in some early morning exercise, stuck to my points and had an evening out in Long Beach. Went to see a special screening of the Freedom Writers movie. Jon and I have a history with the Freedom Writers going back about 10 years. I was working at B&N in Long Beach right around the time that Erin Gruwell, an incredible first time teacher, was taking her first steps to make a tremendous difference in the lives of some kids who needed a break. The bookstore became a focal point for their journey and I was priveledged to be along for the ride. Last night was the first time in years I've seen Erin or "the girls," three of the students who became good friends. It was a bit surreal to see their stories on the big screen. A great story, ten years in the making.
And just to keep me honest, I have to share my irritated moment of the night. There is a scene in the film where Erin gives each of her students a bag of new books, something most of these kids had never had before. Much to my dismay, the camera shows Erin standing in front of a table filled to capacity with "Borders" bags. I had to laugh to myself. Only myself and a handful of B&N booksellers know that it was in fact our store that put these bags together. Using my own two hands. You may think this is a petty point to bring up. I only mention it because it's so typical of B&N...to screw up an endorsement deal of this magnitude. That company has a history of specializing in bad decisions. C'est la vie.
So here I am at work fighting off the craving to jump into the tub of chocolate that sits behind my desk. After having already sampled a few pieces. Maybe I'll just continue blogging for the rest of the day to keep my fingers occupied...
Yesterday was good. Got in some early morning exercise, stuck to my points and had an evening out in Long Beach. Went to see a special screening of the Freedom Writers movie. Jon and I have a history with the Freedom Writers going back about 10 years. I was working at B&N in Long Beach right around the time that Erin Gruwell, an incredible first time teacher, was taking her first steps to make a tremendous difference in the lives of some kids who needed a break. The bookstore became a focal point for their journey and I was priveledged to be along for the ride. Last night was the first time in years I've seen Erin or "the girls," three of the students who became good friends. It was a bit surreal to see their stories on the big screen. A great story, ten years in the making.
And just to keep me honest, I have to share my irritated moment of the night. There is a scene in the film where Erin gives each of her students a bag of new books, something most of these kids had never had before. Much to my dismay, the camera shows Erin standing in front of a table filled to capacity with "Borders" bags. I had to laugh to myself. Only myself and a handful of B&N booksellers know that it was in fact our store that put these bags together. Using my own two hands. You may think this is a petty point to bring up. I only mention it because it's so typical of B&N...to screw up an endorsement deal of this magnitude. That company has a history of specializing in bad decisions. C'est la vie.
So here I am at work fighting off the craving to jump into the tub of chocolate that sits behind my desk. After having already sampled a few pieces. Maybe I'll just continue blogging for the rest of the day to keep my fingers occupied...
11.18.2006
Day 140: Weigh In
So let's just say for two weeks now I've been lazy. My attitude has been kinda like "tracking schmacking" to say the least. I told Jon I think my mind has convinced me that I'll remember what I'm eating. And we don't really keep bad food in the house anymore, so I must be doing ok, right? But ultimately, it's just downright laziness. So as I sit here and type this blog entry, I am simultaneously looking up my points for the day. Tracking points has worked for me thus far, so I can't give up on it now.
Luckily, my careless attitude hasn't been my downfall. Went back to WW after a week off and weighed in at 174.6 lbs. That's down 1.4 lbs for a total loss of 38.8. I was amazed, yet again. Aside from not calculating my food intake, I also only exercised once this week. So I wasn't expecting good results. Not to mention that the one time I did exercise, I went to the gym after work without having eaten anything that day...not a winning combination. Let's just say Carrie learned an important lesson about nutrition and exercise that day. Ended up sitting in a chair looking out the window eating a nutritional bar and hoping she could walk out unassisted. She won't be testing that rule again.
Today's meeting was all about Thanksgiving. It seems to be the one day a year that drives WWers over the edge. We did an exercise where we actually mapped out our typical Thanksgiving meal on paper plates. Then came the calculation of points. People had all kinds of suggestions like, "Don't let any of your food items touch each other on your plate." The idea being that you'll leave space between foods and won't over do it, I guess. But I think it really comes down to common sense. Of course it doesn't hurt that my mother-in-law, the Thanksgiving Day chef, is a WWer too and she'll be making some lower fat substitutions with some ingredients. Thanks, Mama! I won't tell the other guests your secret recipes.
The frustrating thing is that I'm 20 pounds away from my goal weight, and I know exactly where those 20 pounds are. Sitting right on my stomach and thighs, where I can see them everyday. They're taunting me. The weight loss is visible to me in my face, my arms, my legs, my waist. But that darn stomach is a stubborn...well, I won't get into name-calling. I kinda knew the last pounds would be the hardest. And I'm sure it will get even more challenging. All the more reason to stick with it.
So if I'm lacking in my blog skills this week, as I have been in weeks past, let me take this opportunity to wish you all a Happy Turkey Day. Hug your loved ones, remember all that you have. This WW journey is only one of many things I am thankful for this year. Each one of you is high on that list as well.
Luckily, my careless attitude hasn't been my downfall. Went back to WW after a week off and weighed in at 174.6 lbs. That's down 1.4 lbs for a total loss of 38.8. I was amazed, yet again. Aside from not calculating my food intake, I also only exercised once this week. So I wasn't expecting good results. Not to mention that the one time I did exercise, I went to the gym after work without having eaten anything that day...not a winning combination. Let's just say Carrie learned an important lesson about nutrition and exercise that day. Ended up sitting in a chair looking out the window eating a nutritional bar and hoping she could walk out unassisted. She won't be testing that rule again.
Today's meeting was all about Thanksgiving. It seems to be the one day a year that drives WWers over the edge. We did an exercise where we actually mapped out our typical Thanksgiving meal on paper plates. Then came the calculation of points. People had all kinds of suggestions like, "Don't let any of your food items touch each other on your plate." The idea being that you'll leave space between foods and won't over do it, I guess. But I think it really comes down to common sense. Of course it doesn't hurt that my mother-in-law, the Thanksgiving Day chef, is a WWer too and she'll be making some lower fat substitutions with some ingredients. Thanks, Mama! I won't tell the other guests your secret recipes.
The frustrating thing is that I'm 20 pounds away from my goal weight, and I know exactly where those 20 pounds are. Sitting right on my stomach and thighs, where I can see them everyday. They're taunting me. The weight loss is visible to me in my face, my arms, my legs, my waist. But that darn stomach is a stubborn...well, I won't get into name-calling. I kinda knew the last pounds would be the hardest. And I'm sure it will get even more challenging. All the more reason to stick with it.
So if I'm lacking in my blog skills this week, as I have been in weeks past, let me take this opportunity to wish you all a Happy Turkey Day. Hug your loved ones, remember all that you have. This WW journey is only one of many things I am thankful for this year. Each one of you is high on that list as well.
11.11.2006
Day One Hundred Thirty-Three
I have no idea what I weigh right now, since there was no WW meeting today. But I kinda like it that way for some reason.
Kicked off the week with some eating extremes. Started out my day with breakfast from Farmer's Market. Egg white omelet, mushrooms and tomatoes. The end of the day, however, brought lots of goodies at a family party, including chocolate cake from King's Hawaiian. Yes, a whole slice. And did I mention the M&M's?
The greatest moment of the night came when I was being greeted by a relative of Jon's who hadn't seen me in awhile. She hugged me and said, "Hey, skinny. Pretty soon I won't be able to see you anymore." I was instantly struck by the irony of that statement. I realized that the harder I work at this and the more weight I lose, off my body and mind, the more of the real me is visible to others. People are just now starting to see Carrie. And it feels really good.
Kicked off the week with some eating extremes. Started out my day with breakfast from Farmer's Market. Egg white omelet, mushrooms and tomatoes. The end of the day, however, brought lots of goodies at a family party, including chocolate cake from King's Hawaiian. Yes, a whole slice. And did I mention the M&M's?
The greatest moment of the night came when I was being greeted by a relative of Jon's who hadn't seen me in awhile. She hugged me and said, "Hey, skinny. Pretty soon I won't be able to see you anymore." I was instantly struck by the irony of that statement. I realized that the harder I work at this and the more weight I lose, off my body and mind, the more of the real me is visible to others. People are just now starting to see Carrie. And it feels really good.
11.10.2006
Day One Hundred Thirty-Two
Happy Friday, everyone. It's been a good week. I've been lacking in my tracking (didn't mean to do that, honest!), but I'm feeling great.
Went back to the gym with J yesterday. My feelings about going there are totally different now. That first trip obviously was breaking down the wall, now it's about slowly building confidence. We did some more weight training before doing some cardio. I didn't want to do the treadmill, because that's something that I'm used to. Really wanted to try something new. So I step on the elliptical, J sets it for 30 minutes, and two minutes later I'm seeing my life flash before my eyes. My legs were burning and I thought I might die. I know this sounds dramatic, but I was truly convinced that if I made it to five minutes, it would be only through an act of God. J kept saying, "You'll be fine. Try for fifteen." That seemed completely impossible. But I stuck with it. And when I made it to fifteen minutes, I decided I'd stay on for twenty. And when twenty came, I knew I could make it to thirty. And I did.
This was a good reminder to me about how mental this process is. Don't get me wrong, the pain I was feeling was OBVIOUSLY physical, but it allowed me to convince myself that I couldn't accomplish my goal. The mind is so powerful sometimes. That's why we have to stay focused, so we don't allow it to talk us out of the things that, deep down, we know we can and should be doing.
In the evening, Jon and I made it out to a book talk that I had so been looking forward to. It did not disappoint. Frank Warren, the founder of PostSecret (If you haven't been there, go there! Right now!), spoke about the project and signed two of the book compilations. Basically, it's a community art project where people send in secrets on postcards. Frank, all on his own, picks up thousands of these postcards from his very own mailbox each week, reads and catalogs them, and posts some on the website. They are fascinating. More than the actual cards themselves, it's about people finding common ground, learning about themselves by reading the secrets of others. I was inspired by this one individual and the massive movement he has started. And it all started with a simple idea, a simple act. I think there's a lot to be learned from that.
I also couldn't help but think about myself, my own secrets. We've all got them, things you don't share for a variety of reasons. Things about your past, things about your present. And I realized that one of the secrets I carried for so many years, my own self-loathing, has been exposed to the light. It's not a secret anymore. That's how this blog got started in the first place. It's just me telling you where my head has been in relation to my body. I hadn't realized this was even a secret until I started to tell more people about the blog. The reactions I usually got were, "Wow, I never knew you felt this way." Which told me a lot about the masks I was wearing and taught me how to take them off. Shedding pounds off of my body has become shedding tons off my soul.
So there's no weigh-in tomorrow. I get the morning off. I'm hoping that by next week's WW meeting I will have reached 175 lbs...maybe even 174. Who knows. It's just nice to not be bound by the numbers. Well not all the time, anyway. I find myself really enjoying moments, which includes food and exercise, rather than obsessing over my weight. What a refreshing feeling.
Oh, and I know I've been a little shout-out-happy recently, but I can't help it. I have to give kudos to A, for taking chances, following a dream, being willing to learn more about herself. And to J who is finishing up his first week at a great new job. And to M, who is slaving away at work and school, but is always ready with a hug (even a virtual one). You guys are awesome...thanks for listening to all the ramblings of this crazy fat girl.
Went back to the gym with J yesterday. My feelings about going there are totally different now. That first trip obviously was breaking down the wall, now it's about slowly building confidence. We did some more weight training before doing some cardio. I didn't want to do the treadmill, because that's something that I'm used to. Really wanted to try something new. So I step on the elliptical, J sets it for 30 minutes, and two minutes later I'm seeing my life flash before my eyes. My legs were burning and I thought I might die. I know this sounds dramatic, but I was truly convinced that if I made it to five minutes, it would be only through an act of God. J kept saying, "You'll be fine. Try for fifteen." That seemed completely impossible. But I stuck with it. And when I made it to fifteen minutes, I decided I'd stay on for twenty. And when twenty came, I knew I could make it to thirty. And I did.
This was a good reminder to me about how mental this process is. Don't get me wrong, the pain I was feeling was OBVIOUSLY physical, but it allowed me to convince myself that I couldn't accomplish my goal. The mind is so powerful sometimes. That's why we have to stay focused, so we don't allow it to talk us out of the things that, deep down, we know we can and should be doing.
In the evening, Jon and I made it out to a book talk that I had so been looking forward to. It did not disappoint. Frank Warren, the founder of PostSecret (If you haven't been there, go there! Right now!), spoke about the project and signed two of the book compilations. Basically, it's a community art project where people send in secrets on postcards. Frank, all on his own, picks up thousands of these postcards from his very own mailbox each week, reads and catalogs them, and posts some on the website. They are fascinating. More than the actual cards themselves, it's about people finding common ground, learning about themselves by reading the secrets of others. I was inspired by this one individual and the massive movement he has started. And it all started with a simple idea, a simple act. I think there's a lot to be learned from that.
I also couldn't help but think about myself, my own secrets. We've all got them, things you don't share for a variety of reasons. Things about your past, things about your present. And I realized that one of the secrets I carried for so many years, my own self-loathing, has been exposed to the light. It's not a secret anymore. That's how this blog got started in the first place. It's just me telling you where my head has been in relation to my body. I hadn't realized this was even a secret until I started to tell more people about the blog. The reactions I usually got were, "Wow, I never knew you felt this way." Which told me a lot about the masks I was wearing and taught me how to take them off. Shedding pounds off of my body has become shedding tons off my soul.
So there's no weigh-in tomorrow. I get the morning off. I'm hoping that by next week's WW meeting I will have reached 175 lbs...maybe even 174. Who knows. It's just nice to not be bound by the numbers. Well not all the time, anyway. I find myself really enjoying moments, which includes food and exercise, rather than obsessing over my weight. What a refreshing feeling.
Oh, and I know I've been a little shout-out-happy recently, but I can't help it. I have to give kudos to A, for taking chances, following a dream, being willing to learn more about herself. And to J who is finishing up his first week at a great new job. And to M, who is slaving away at work and school, but is always ready with a hug (even a virtual one). You guys are awesome...thanks for listening to all the ramblings of this crazy fat girl.
11.06.2006
Day One Hundred Twenty-Eight
Two words...french fries! Yes, I ate them. And two hot dogs as well. Right after I finished saying I'm gonna stay focused. You know what this means? Two things:
- We need to go grocery shopping.
- The gym is calling my name! (Just not over the loudspeaker this time, hopefully)
11.05.2006
Day One Hundred Twenty-Seven
Facts, figures and fears. These are three of the things that have played a very important role in my weight loss journey. Finally facing the fact that I had let myself get far beyond the point I ever wanted to be - that's what got me to go to WW. Realizing that I have the power to change the numbers on the scale, the figures - that has motivated me to continue. And conquering fears that I have carried with me for thirty years - that's been the great reward.
We'll begin with the facts and figures of this weekend. I was definitely more focused in the last half of the week. Got back to tracking my points and tried new exercise (which I'll get to a little later). The result was a really good weigh-in day. I lost 1.4 lbs. last week, for a total loss of 37.4 lbs. I'm now at 176! It's still surreal for me to realize that I don't weigh over 200 lbs. anymore. I defined myself that way for so long. I'm only 21 lbs. away from my goal, which seems so reachable to me now.
This was also a monumental week for me in that I faced a huge fear, one that has been with me for years. I went to the gym for the very first time. Yes, ever. Had never stepped foot inside the doors of a gym before. Those of you who have been reading this blog since the beginning or if you've gone back and read some of the early entries, you know how emotional of an experience this has been for me. You have an idea of the level of insecurity I've fought against for most of my life. That's why the concept of going to work out - something so common to most people - has seemed completely out of reach for me. The thought of exercising in front of, heaven forbid, PEOPLE, has scared me to death. Don't get me wrong, my mind understands that not everyone who goes to the gym is a hot babe. They're just regular people, I get that. But somehow I've always seen myself as "below" any of those people because I was so unhappy with the way that I looked.
So thanks to my good friend J, who has a free guest pass on his gym membership, I decided to take the plunge. When we parked the car I actually said, "I'll just stay here and wait while you go work out." I couldn't imagine walking in those doors. And the level of anxiety within me rose with each step toward the building. Which is why I thought I was going to fall over and die when the guy at the counter promptly took my ID and announced to the entire gym that I was a first-timer. Surprisingly enough, after being completely horrified, I was much more at ease.
We headed upstairs to do some weight training...something I've never done before. I couldn't tell you what all the different machines were if my life depended on it. But I learned a lot. And I was thrilled because I know that aside from general weight loss, toning up is another part of my goal. I'm not trying to get fancy, just firm up and be fit. Trying all this new stuff was a really great experience. And while I still lack a lot of confidence when it comes to working out in a social environment like that, I can safely say that I'm excited and looking forward to the next opportunity to go back. So tonight's shout out is to J, for opening the door and helping me take that huge first step.
I'd also like to say thanks to A, who joined me last night for my first "girls night out" in a really long time. We had a great dinner, saw a fantastic show, and dessert was...frankly, amazing. Totally way out of my points range (fresh warm cookies and ice cream to die for, enough said), but completely worth it. A, you are the best date ever. And I have to say that I recognize, if it were not for the weight loss and my changing self-image, I would have passed over an opportunity like this. Taking the time to go out and have fun means that I accept myself more, and don't worry so much about what I look like.
So I guess there's another word I need to add to the list. Facts, figures, fears, and best of all friends. You know who you are. Thank you for being a part of the journey.
We'll begin with the facts and figures of this weekend. I was definitely more focused in the last half of the week. Got back to tracking my points and tried new exercise (which I'll get to a little later). The result was a really good weigh-in day. I lost 1.4 lbs. last week, for a total loss of 37.4 lbs. I'm now at 176! It's still surreal for me to realize that I don't weigh over 200 lbs. anymore. I defined myself that way for so long. I'm only 21 lbs. away from my goal, which seems so reachable to me now.
This was also a monumental week for me in that I faced a huge fear, one that has been with me for years. I went to the gym for the very first time. Yes, ever. Had never stepped foot inside the doors of a gym before. Those of you who have been reading this blog since the beginning or if you've gone back and read some of the early entries, you know how emotional of an experience this has been for me. You have an idea of the level of insecurity I've fought against for most of my life. That's why the concept of going to work out - something so common to most people - has seemed completely out of reach for me. The thought of exercising in front of, heaven forbid, PEOPLE, has scared me to death. Don't get me wrong, my mind understands that not everyone who goes to the gym is a hot babe. They're just regular people, I get that. But somehow I've always seen myself as "below" any of those people because I was so unhappy with the way that I looked.
So thanks to my good friend J, who has a free guest pass on his gym membership, I decided to take the plunge. When we parked the car I actually said, "I'll just stay here and wait while you go work out." I couldn't imagine walking in those doors. And the level of anxiety within me rose with each step toward the building. Which is why I thought I was going to fall over and die when the guy at the counter promptly took my ID and announced to the entire gym that I was a first-timer. Surprisingly enough, after being completely horrified, I was much more at ease.
We headed upstairs to do some weight training...something I've never done before. I couldn't tell you what all the different machines were if my life depended on it. But I learned a lot. And I was thrilled because I know that aside from general weight loss, toning up is another part of my goal. I'm not trying to get fancy, just firm up and be fit. Trying all this new stuff was a really great experience. And while I still lack a lot of confidence when it comes to working out in a social environment like that, I can safely say that I'm excited and looking forward to the next opportunity to go back. So tonight's shout out is to J, for opening the door and helping me take that huge first step.
I'd also like to say thanks to A, who joined me last night for my first "girls night out" in a really long time. We had a great dinner, saw a fantastic show, and dessert was...frankly, amazing. Totally way out of my points range (fresh warm cookies and ice cream to die for, enough said), but completely worth it. A, you are the best date ever. And I have to say that I recognize, if it were not for the weight loss and my changing self-image, I would have passed over an opportunity like this. Taking the time to go out and have fun means that I accept myself more, and don't worry so much about what I look like.
So I guess there's another word I need to add to the list. Facts, figures, fears, and best of all friends. You know who you are. Thank you for being a part of the journey.
11.01.2006
Day One Hundred Twenty-Three
Have you taken a look at your calendars, people? IT'S NOVEMBER! How did this happen? It's been over a week since my last post, which should give you a glimpse of what October was like for me. For all the planning and preparations, it was a great month, filled with lots of reasons to be thankul. Pass the Light was beyond what I had expected, Z's birthday was a blast and he definitely can't complain...we're STILL opening gifts and filling up the recycle bin with cardboard packaging! Not to mention our second consecutive year of participation in Make a Difference Day, gathering with a group of really supportive people to do some good. Throughout the month, everything was moving so fast, I found myself just looking to get to the next thing. That was, of course, until Elena stepped in with this much needed reminder of why we do what we do.
So in the midst of all the chaos, something had to give. Unfortunately it was WW. Not that I've fallen completely off the wagon. But the past few weeks have been filled with "convenient eating," no tracking my points, way less exercise, that sorta thing. Which is probably another reason I haven't been blogging...didn't want to get discouraged by seeing it all there in black and white.
Naturally, based on recent behavioral slips, I was expecting the worst on weigh-in day. I was looking to have gained about five pounds or so. Actually, what I told Jon was, "I'll be happy if I've gained less than five pounds, but I'm expecting it to be closer to ten." When I got to WW, I immediately told Jim that it wasn't going to be pretty. I step on the scale and he says, "Well, it could be a lot worse." Up only 0.2lbs! I couldn't believe it. I'm sure there were other WWers who came in that morning and were discouraged to be up 0.2, but I drove home smiling and upon entering the house announced that I had never been so happy to gain weight! And it was completely true.
So here it is, November. The start of a season of eating for everyone. But I'm excited because this is my get-back-on-track month. Literally, with tracking my food intake. It just has to be done. I can tell myself all I want that I'll remember what I ate and account for it later, but writing it down is what really works. And staying committed to exercise is key. What's nice is that I actually look forward to opportunities for activity now, I don't run from them. So I'm more inclined to keep the commitment. I'm not gonna let the Thanksgiving turkey and Christmas ham wear me down.
Welcome to a new day. Each one is a blessing. I've taken inventory of all the previous days and put them in their place where they add up to exactly where I am right at this moment. The key is to make sure they stay in their place and aren't allowed to redirect my future. My past is part of me, but I am not my past. I am my right now.
So in the midst of all the chaos, something had to give. Unfortunately it was WW. Not that I've fallen completely off the wagon. But the past few weeks have been filled with "convenient eating," no tracking my points, way less exercise, that sorta thing. Which is probably another reason I haven't been blogging...didn't want to get discouraged by seeing it all there in black and white.
Naturally, based on recent behavioral slips, I was expecting the worst on weigh-in day. I was looking to have gained about five pounds or so. Actually, what I told Jon was, "I'll be happy if I've gained less than five pounds, but I'm expecting it to be closer to ten." When I got to WW, I immediately told Jim that it wasn't going to be pretty. I step on the scale and he says, "Well, it could be a lot worse." Up only 0.2lbs! I couldn't believe it. I'm sure there were other WWers who came in that morning and were discouraged to be up 0.2, but I drove home smiling and upon entering the house announced that I had never been so happy to gain weight! And it was completely true.
So here it is, November. The start of a season of eating for everyone. But I'm excited because this is my get-back-on-track month. Literally, with tracking my food intake. It just has to be done. I can tell myself all I want that I'll remember what I ate and account for it later, but writing it down is what really works. And staying committed to exercise is key. What's nice is that I actually look forward to opportunities for activity now, I don't run from them. So I'm more inclined to keep the commitment. I'm not gonna let the Thanksgiving turkey and Christmas ham wear me down.
Welcome to a new day. Each one is a blessing. I've taken inventory of all the previous days and put them in their place where they add up to exactly where I am right at this moment. The key is to make sure they stay in their place and aren't allowed to redirect my future. My past is part of me, but I am not my past. I am my right now.
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