Day One Hundred Fifty-Eight

What's going on with me? Wondering what I've been up to? Defeating the purpose, that's what I've been doing. Hiding from my blog, feeling really unmotivated to tell you where I'm at. Part of that includes revealing that I'm just like everyone else when it comes to eating my way through the holiday season. Don't get me wrong, it's been a great one. But I have been less than focused on good eating. Barely paying attention to points tracking. Splurging, to say the least. Everywhere you go, there's FOOD! The kind that tastes good and looks festive but isn't so good for the nutritional plan.

As far as stats, when I last left you, I had reached my 40 lbs. So to bring you up to speed, here's how the last two weigh-ins went:
Saturday, December 16th - gained 1.4 lbs. Was not a big surprise.
Saturday, December 23rd - lost 1.4 lbs. Was a HUGE surprise!!!

All things considered, I'm doing pretty well. Currently I weigh 173 lbs., and am still heading to 155. That's right, just 18 lbs. to go. Doesn't seem like all that much, and it's really not. Especially considering all that I was able to accomplish in just the second half of the year. But the fact is, it's far from easy.

The reason I said my lack of blogging is defeating the purpose is because I started this thing with the intention of documenting the ENTIRE journey. Good, bad, ugly and everything in between. Not just the weight loss victories. Not just the parts I like. All of it. So here I am, back to tell you it ain't all roses. And that's ok.

One of the things I never anticipated was uncovering more than just what I looked like under the physical weight. I've begun to see the me underneath the emotional weight, too. There's confidence now that's unfamiliar, both to me and those around me. My perspective has shifted, brought new things to light. There's transition ongoing, work being done. Kind of like peeling back the layers of an onion. I'm still the same person at the core, but new layers are being exposed. It just takes some getting used to. And what I'm learning is...that's ok, too.

So I'm still here. It's been an amazing, fantastic, emotionally-driven, educational, whirlwind of a year. I've lost some of me along the way and found even more. Equally exciting is the fact that I've re-discovered some of you, who have eagerly jumped on board, grabbed my hand and come along for the sometimes bumpy ride. You've carried my burdens, shouted my victories and celebrated me at every step. And that's why I'm here, not hiding anymore. I owe you my honesty, given as freely as the love you've given me. It's a crazy life, one that would be boring and lonely to be lived alone. In the words of Shakespeare (as spoken by Steve Martin in one of my all-time favorite movies, L.A. Story) you are "wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful, wonderful! And yet again, wonderful." And I love you.