Went for a quick weigh in today and couldn't stay for the meeting because I had to get back home to prep for the SLF board meeting. But I would sure like to start more days like this. When I stepped on the scale, our leader Jim looked up at me with a huge smile and said, "you amaze me." I'm down 2.6 lbs. this week for a total loss of 34.4 lbs. This puts my current weight at 179. YES! I SAID 179!! This is so huge for me. I mean there are lots of miletones along the way, but being in the 170's, I was floored.
On the drive home, the tears came. Didn't know where they were coming from, but there they were. Obviously, happy tears. Happy because I finally believe in myself, because I've reached a point that seemed unattainable to me for so long. Mama makes fun of me that I put on my little shocked face whenever I lose at weigh ins, but it's absolutely sincere. I'm still shocked. Part of me is waiting for the day that I wake up and find out this was all a dream. In my head, I stil weigh 213 lbs. And that's where the struggle lies, in my mind. Not in my physical body.
We're making a change in our walking routine. Since the seasons have changed, it's pretty cool at the beach early in the morning and late evening. So we've decided to use the treadmill at Jon's parents more often. Starting tomorrow, we'll switch to Sunday and Tuesday nights on the treadmill and then maybe try to get in another day at the park or something. I just have to maintain momentum. I have to stay on track because the last thing I want is to allow myself to go backwards.
I have a new WW buddy, A2. I find it so ironic that here I spent all these years hiding my body and avoiding conversation about weight out of embarrassment, yet in the past 15 weeks I've made some incredible connections and built strong bonds because I've allowed myself to be honest about...myself. I don't regret the lost time because that was all necessary learning experience. I'm just thankful that I am here now, and the road ahead is wide open.
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3 comments:
You won't go backwards. This is not a journey about weight, as you know. It is a journey about learning about who you are. And, as they say "Knowledge is power." Audrey and I decided today that we already are at goal :-) because that is what we feel inside even if the numbers aren't there yet. And I look at myself and still can't believe it--can't believe that I am THIN! God is faithful, who promised! So glad I said "yes" to Uncle Reuben...when he called that night and asked me to go with him to WW. God knew, God knows, we win.
congratulations!!!
i admire you!!!
i want to be like you!!!
i want a man to love me the way your husband loves you!!!
I am so happy for you! Your blog never ceases to amaze and inspire me. It's true what you said about going through life avoiding the weight issue only to realize that so many people can relate.
I went way off the wagon last night and today. I've really got to get more focused on tracking. That and I have to destroy Grady's 5 GALLON tub of chocolate ice cream. Any tips?
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