Day One Hundred Fourteen

Bear with me, everything's been up in the air lately and nothing has quite settled yet. This includes my weight. At this point, I have no idea how much I weigh and I almost don't even remember what I've eaten in the past three days. But I can tell you I've had my share of no-no's. What would a party weekend be without plenty of those?

I actually missed my WW weigh in and meeting on Saturday, but got in some exercise for the body and nourishment for the soul. Jon, Z and I headed out to Irvine to participate in the OC Walk To Remember, in honor of our Elena. It was an inspiration to meet the two moms who started and coordinated this annual event. Before the walk all attendees gathered for a remembrance ceremony, including a reading of the names of the babies we were walking for. I surprised myself by getting emotional during the balloon release. I guess after four years, it's still difficult for me to witness anything symbolizing letting my Elena go, even though she's already gone.

Immediately after the ceremony, we began the 5K walk, taking 5,278 brisk steps to the finish line. It was incredibly hot, which usually slows me down, but I took this as an opportunity for some productive exercise and maintained my speed. It was without a doubt an energizing and refreshing way to start the weekend. And even more meaningful to do something personal for Elena. We spend the whole year running the Fund and organizing events of our own in October, but as an organizer you never get to experience the full impact. This day was just for us, just for me to pause and reflect. It was exactly what I needed.

To maintain fairness, the rest of the weekend was devoted to Z, my now two-year-old prince. Sunday we gathered with family and friends for his birthday party. As usual there were some stress factors involved getting everything together. What kind of party would it be without stress, right? But the outcome was amazing. There was more love in that room than I can even comprehend. Who are we to be that fortunate? It overwhelms me every time I think about it.

So needless to say, it was a great weekend. I didn't count points because I was too busy counting the blessings. We were still polishing off party leftovers today, so I'm sure the point count isn't too pretty still. But tomorrow I'm back on track. Need to get focused again, want to get back to basics. Am looking forward to the treadmill tomorrow night and have been thinking about how to fit in some trips to the gym. Maybe after this season, who knows. The important thing is that through the challenges I haven't given up on myself, which used to be so easy for me to do. One wrong move or a slip off the scale was enough to send me packing. But not anymore. I've come too far, had too much support and seen too many glimpses of my true self to let that happen.