Pretty hard to put a weekend like this into words. Some monumental things happened. Let's start with weight loss. Weigh in day was really good. I was down another 1.8 lbs. for a total of 36.2 lbs. I'm currently at 177.2. When Jim handed me my seventh little red bookmark that morning, he said simply, "It's been 15 weeks. Talk to us." So I said some of the same things I usually say. I love the program, I have tremendous support, I feel better than ever. I also told him that the motivation to continue forward comes from what's already been accomplished in the past. Thirty-six. "I don't ever want to go back to the way I was. And I know I don't have to." On the inside, or the outside.
Later that same day came all the busy-ness in preparation for the PTL candlelight service. This year did not involve any chaos, surprisingly. Last year involved nothing but chaos, but apparently we've worked out a lot of the bugs. The whole day was beyond what I can detail here. The people who were meant to be there were there. Everything looked beautiful, everyone who came was really touched. But as always in my life, what stood out were the people. The individuals who believe, who gave of themselves to help and to experience. The time, caring and dedication. The overwhelming love I saw on every face and felt in every hug.
Experiences like this often make me wonder how I was chosen for such a time as this. Why was I picked to give birth to such a small but miraculous being? How was I entrusted with her legacy? And how can any one person be so blessed as to be surrounded on all sides by such indescribable love? Sure I have as many bad days as the next guy, but I find it hard to be anything but thankful everyday. In my silly interactions with A and G at work. In my serious conversations with J, finding out how we've both changed during the (too many) years that we didn't talk. In my daily correspondence with moms who are suffering inside. In the giggles and tickles with Z on our big bed. In the spontaneous adventures and quiet moments with Jon. It's all a part of me, it's who I am. I never want to take that for granted.
On a very vain note, the weight loss was extremely noticeable, especially to many of those I hadn't seen since last year. I was really happy with the way my suit looked. And in watching some of the video footage from the night of the service, I can't believe the difference. It's almost like I'm looking at someone else. I was telling J recently that it's horrible but when I see this year's footage compared to last years, I can't help but think, "Why did Fox news have to come out to film during the fat year?" That's just the selfish me talking. (I've gotta throw thoughts like that in there so that you know I'm equal parts deep thinker and silly, frivolous knucklehead - like everyone else).
For those who were there, thank you for working and sharing. For those who weren't, thank you for praying and encouraging. You know who you are to me, and I love you.
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1 comment:
The night was wonderful. God is faithful who promised. And you looked spectacular.
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