9.12.2006

Day Seventy-Four

Breakfast Burrito Wednesday moved to Tuesday this week. I ate half of mine this morning and Zaya ate the rest for lunch. We had to move the day temporarily to make room in Wednesday's schedule for Greasy Cheesy Pizza Wednesday at Chuck E. Cheese with some friends. Sounds like a nightmare week as far as points are concerned, but that so doesn't bother me anymore. I know that I'm following the program really well, it's all second nature now. Having no anxiety about extra treats and special days is just so nice. I'm a real person living a real life, and enjoying it.

Had a long talk today with my high school friend. Basically catching up on eight missed years of each other's lives. While talking with him I realized that what everyone has been telling me is true - I am so much more to people than what I look like. Since starting WW several people have made the comment that they didn't ever think of me as someone who needed to lose weight. And I just looked back at them, astonished after years of assuming that fat is what everyone sees first. But today it became clear that regardless of my weight or any other insecurity, I have a lot to offer as a person, as a friend. That was a realization I've been waiting for and hoping for. Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty content right about now.

People assume that being on WW is about acceptance...losing weight so others will accept you. But it's really more about learning to accept yourself. We are our toughest critics, very hard to impress. We spend so much time putting the mask on for others that when we take it off, we don't recognize ourselves. But the mask is coming off. This is all me. You don't have to like it. I, for one, love it. It's about time.

2 comments:

Ogre said...

Slow down my friend. For the sake of planet Earth the mask can stay on. :)

If WW is what it took for you to realize your worth to your family and friends then I see it as money and time well spent. The qualities that you bring as a friend and a person will never change no matter your shape and size. You are truly one that has the ability to bring something special into the lives of the people you come across. It is a special gift that very few people have.

I am very proud and honored to be a part of your life. You may not know or realize it, but these hard emotional times for myself are becoming quite easier to deal. Your advice and guidance means so much to me that I will always be in your debt.

Anonymous said...

FIRST, ZAYA ate half of a breakfast burrito after all that oatmeal in the morning?! The kid has an iron stomach! that stretches....
SECOND, yes acceptance of self all the way round is what we need to do...
THIRD, what great work you are doing--what hearts you are touching, and what hearts are touching you----and Stel. It is somewhat difficult to be real, to need people, to let them know how you need them...better learned sooner than later. Richness of moments, days and lives are had this way.