Day Fifty-Eight

Now this is what a weekend should be. Started out the day with a good power walk and actually jogged again...twice! I should clarify that by saying I don't jog very far so I space out my attempts. I mentally mark off goals so I can work my way up to jogging more. Usually it's between restrooms or lifeguard stations along the beach path. It may not be very impressive, but it's a start. I jog when I know I'm ready and I stop when I know it's time.

Jogging brings up a topic I've been avoiding. Considering this is my own blog, I think I can be frank so I'm just gonna say it. I'm a big girl. Big girls have big boobs. Big boobs and jogging are not a winning combination. That's actually the part of jogging that makes me most self-conscious. It's distracting to me, and if that's the case it MUST be noticeable to others. I need to invest in a good sports bra. Gotta keep the ladies in line. :-)

Received confirmation on several occasions this weekend about how noticeable the weight loss is. Saturday we went to my cousin's engagement party and saw a lot of family members I haven't seen since Christmas. The look in the eyes was even more of a giveaway than the words they spoke. Then today we got together with some friends and their kids for a family concert. A good friend of ours actually used the word "fabulous" and asked me to take a spin around. Such fun. People are not only noticing but are also appreciating the hard work involved.

And then tonight I opened my e-mail to receive another HUGE encouragment from my aunt. She said the weight loss is great, but what's even better is the "finding of Carrie," the light in my eyes. She so gets me. This really put into words the way I've been feeling. I can't even say that the true Carrie is back because I don't think she was really ever fully here before. So this is her introduction to the world. Her coming-out party, if you will.

One of the things that came out of this weekend was a real sense of belonging. Not that I place too much serious value on what others think about me, but when I interact with people, I feel that we're on the same level. That was never the case before. And I'm not talking financial or social status. It's more than that. I'm more comfortable in my skin. I see myself at a family gathering or among a huge group of other parents and I can extract every last ounce of the experience because I know I belong as much as anyone else. I'm not a "lesser than."

Yes, this is what weekends were made for. Here's to many, many more.