8.24.2006

Day Fifty-Five

Feeling sorta fat. Not completely. I feel like I look great, but only with clothes on. It's funny because whenever I feel like this, I look at myself and I'm totally convinced that I haven't lost anything. Sometimes I think I'm gaining weight. How completely illogical is that? I'm following the program, have a great track record for eight weeks now, and my mind still says "You're failing." I know I'm succeeding. And even if it wasn't reflected in pounds, the change in my mindset about myself is a huge success.

I don't think I mentioned that I ran into a friend from junior high and high school at WW. I recognized her right away. It shocked me that my first instinct was not to bury my head in the sand. A couple of months ago I would have been horrified for someone I knew to "catch" me at WW. Like I committed a sin and the secret's out - I EAT TOO MUCH!! Instead, I was proud of myself for having made the decision to be there and now it's fun to have another friend to share the experience with.

Had another great walk tonight and then picked up Subway and TCBY on the way home. I'm officially addicted to frozen yogurt. Jon likes it so much he actually feels bad. Says he still feels like it's wrong. That's how good it tastes. Like everyone else, I've been brainwashed into believing that everything that tastes good is bad. And if something is good for you, it must taste terrible. Not so.

Lots of things planned for the weekend. Looking forward to seeing family and friends. Letting them share in my victories instead of hiding my defeats. This life is very free, very liberating. "I can do all things..." (Philippians 4:13)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Even skinny gals have fat days. But I guess since we are "fake skinnies" we are really fat when we feel fat. Hmmmmm. When do we get to be real skinnies and have skinny feelings and skinny "fat days." When does that happen? Guess we will just have to see.
A few months back I wore a pair of stretch leggings that I wore 55 pounds ago. Geez. I had a PTSD flashback and thought that I was that size again. I hurried home and threw those in the trash bin --didn't need those feelings again.
Think our minds get stuck sometimes. That's okay. We will get there, and we are getting there.
This a.m. I was thinking of a "celebration" dinner. And wondering what to eat if I were to celebrate without the restraints of WW. Well, I thought, why would I want to do that? I have gained so many wonderful alternative foods that have easily replaced their fat counterparts. Just like Jon--what a funny guy. He feels bad because something tastes so good, but its healthy. Remember we are doing this for health. The number means a lot but it is not the whole thing.
Yesterday, I had to disconnect my computer at work because our power is being turned off this weekend. I was dreading going underneathe my desk because I knew my knees would hurt. Well, I had to do it, so I went down on my knees and started pulling plugs. Well, guess what? My knees didn't hurt! And I could get up wihout needing a crane. 67 pounds ago, that would not have happen.
Not too bad for an old girl. Thank you God and Phil. 3:13. Yes. For health. Little things like that tell me that I am on the right track. PTL, and so are you.
I love you.