Day Two

So I thought I hated exercise. But I figured out there are just certain types of exercise that are not me. For example, I'm not a cross-country skier. Not a snow person, not my personality, no desire there. The sport itself just doesn't appeal to me. If I forced myself to lose weight on the "cross-country ski" diet, I would easily get discouraged and give up on exercise all together. That's just not where I belong.

This morning my husband woke up at 5:30am and said he was thinking about going to the beach for a walk. I should preface this by saying he recently started making these beach trips as a personal behavior change for his own health and well-being, physically and otherwise. So when he said he wanted to go this morning before church I said, "ok." That's it, just "ok." It never would have occurred to me to suggest that we all go. Maybe I figured it was "Jon's thing." Or maybe I just haven't stepped out of my comfort zone in terms of what types of activity I think I can do. It was more than a welcome surprise when Jon said, "I was gonna see if you wanted to go, too." Wow, what a concept. Getting some much-needed exercise, clearing my head and spending time with my family all at once. So I said, "Yes!""

Walking the bike path can be a challenge because you can see the entire path stretched out before you in a straight line, and it seems so long. If you try to tackle it too fast, you can exhaust yourself and may have to quit. It's important to set a pace for yourself that gets the heart pumping, burns just enough but is still manageable.

This morning we did Jon's usual lap from the Redondo Beach pier to the end of Torrance Beach and back again. Being out in the morning air and sunshine, listening to the waves connect to the shore, it was amazing. After I got into a rhythm, my mind was free to roam. I thought about past challenges and how the Lord brought me through each time. I moved out of a passive walking stage and into an active, aggressive mode. It felt wonderful to be doing something good for myself and for my family. Each step, every drop of sweat became a battle strike against the cancer that claimed the lives of my uncle and my grandparents. Each stride was a victory over the high blood pressure and diabetes that runs so prominently in my family. And the forward motion reminded me that I am headed toward a new me.

The other great thing was breaking through the same social anxiety I had expected at the WW meeting. The idea of walking on the beach with all of the "pretty people" really scared me. I'm just not in the same league with all those runners in their fancy running shoes or the bikini-clad women on their rollerblades. Being there used to make me feel left out all over again. But this morning, I took a good look at the diversity at the beach. People of all ages, races, social classes. I was by no means the fastest walker, but I certainly wasn't the slowest. And I don't look like all the "fit folks," but I wasn't the fattest either. It occurred to me that my choice to get out there brought me into the ranks with all of the other people who have decided to be proactive, do something good for their minds, bodies and spirits. I'm not an outsider, I'm a part of this eclectic group, and that feels pretty awesome.

So I don't hate exercise. In fact, I feel encouraged to do it more often. Jon and I talked about keeping it fresh, maybe I can do laps at the park while he plays with Isaiah in the grass. Walking the treadmill on Thursday nights when we visit his parents for dinner. There are options. And I'm finally making good use of them.